


in vino veritas

by phangirlingforphan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:33:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25133950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phangirlingforphan/pseuds/phangirlingforphan
Summary: in vino veritas: latin -  ‘in wine, truth’it’s 9pm and they’re already halfway through a bottle of merlot.
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 88





	in vino veritas

i.

He’s a glass and a half down and it’s only half past nine.

Dan is a rubbish excuse for a six foot tall human when alcohol is involved. There’s this godforsaken myth that’s been milling around for too long that’s brainwashed people into believing that if you’re taller, you can handle more drink. It’s bullshit and he’s a fine example to disprove that.

It’s Friday night: they always drink wine on Fridays. Usually, Bryony would join them, they’d order an Indian with extra sag aloo and pop the cork on their favourite red. Tonight she’s too tired to come over so it’s just them, the wine and a sticky-rice filled Chinese instead.

Phil sniffs the wine before he sips it. Every single time.

“You look ridiculous,” Dan quips. “Your nose doesn’t even fit in the glass, Phil.”

Unsurprisingly, Phil doesn’t care. “It’s that saying, something about sniffing the bouquet before you drink the wine or whatever,”

“Except it’s a glass of moderately posh wine from Tesco, not a bunch of peonies,”

He jibes, but likes that about Phil, the totality in which he feels safe being who he is. He likes the way Phil can be quirky and brazen and not give a single fuck. He wonders sometimes if Phil ever questions himself or holds back on this dazzling personality he’s been given, and he hopes that he talks himself out of the silly thought whenever it crops up.

“If you were a dance move, you’d be jazz hands,” Dan says.

“You’d be a sad tango,”

“Thanks, Phil,”

“Do I even want to know what made you say that?” Phil asks from his end of the sofa. He folds his legs up and cradles his glass with one hand, the other rests languidly behind his head.

Phil’s abandonment of his fringe has left Dan feeling all kinds of things. Their mutual attraction isn’t an unspoken topic. Nothing is taboo between them, they’ve grown-up too much and spent too much time together to tiptoe around the obvious.

They’ve had sex before and it’s consistently fantastic, mind-blowing, exhilarating and whatever other adjectives Dan can think of that describes the deliciousness that is their sexual encounters; therefore he naturally recounts those times every so often in his dreams and in the mornings when he needs a nice wake up.

If he were to come onto Phil tonight and suggest they have sex, he’s pretty certain it’d be a yes, and the thought’s in the back of his mind, mulling. He’s dancing with danger every time they sleep together but lord knows you can’t quit an addiction with the click of your fingers.

He settles on, “Nope, you don’t,” and takes a hearty gulp of the wine, goes for another, and realises the glass is empty. He reaches for the bottle. If he’s going to get throughout tonight without sex he’ll need wine instead.

“Wow, are we really half a bottle down already?”

Dan nods. “Yep.” He sets it back down and takes a sip. Ah, sweet alcohol. “It’s nice, I’m enjoying it,” he adds, mainly to reassure himself this isn’t some liquid confidence fuelled scenario.

“Well,” Phil raises his glass and stretches it towards Dan, “to getting through another week of meetings and surviving,”

Dan raises his own and clinks it against Phil’s. “To continuing to survive,” he says, again more for himself on a wavelength that isn’t about business and YouTube at all.

ii.

They’re comfortably drunk. They’re walking the line between wipeout inebriation and giggle-filled tipsy. Dan’s a quiet drunk. He used to be a stupid, foolish drunk and cry a lot before passing out, and then he went on Citalopram and gave the shit up. Now he’s been off the meds for a few months, he tries his best to control his intake as he’s realised he’s not capable of holding as much alcohol as he used to.

The film they’ve been watching has ended and the clock on his phone is reading 2am. He’s not tired really and the alcohol is keeping him warm and alert. He could stay up for hours.

“You’re staring at me,” Phil says, eyes not averting from his phone.

“I might be. What of it?”

Phil shrugs, putting his phone aside. “I don’t know, just making an observation,”

Phil gets extra confident and sassy when he’s drunk, it’s a quality Dan loves witnessing and it makes the sex even more spectacular when he runs his much dirtier mouth.

Phil Lester is not the Phil Lester people think he is. Dan has seen Phil swear at a million miles per hour, he’s seen him handcuffed to his bed, he’s sucked his dick and he’s slept with him more times than he can count. Phil has screamed Dan’s name into the night before.

AmazingPhil is cute, peppy and wholesome. Phil Lester? He’s filthy, and Dan’s seen it.

He watches Phil lick his lips.

“Maybe I’m liking what I’m looking at,” Dan murmurs.

“Don’t blame you,” a pause. “Did you want to do something about it?”

iii.

Phil feels braver at night. Nighttime is mysterious. It’s private. People hide in the shadows at night, lurk, don’t want to be found, do things they aren’t proud of and forget about it the next day.

Nighttime is the only time he has sex with Dan.

They scramble to the bedroom, clothes tossed to the floor, bodies aching for touch, closeness and release.

Their sex is always so hot. Dan can’t imagine sex with anybody else would feel as good as it does with Phil.

“Let go,” Phil whispers in Dan’s ear. “It’s just us.”

Dan quivers, sweat beads and gathers on his forehead. Phil’s lips tease at his neck and his body aches for the incoming orgasm. “Oh my fuck, Phil.” He cums, body relaxing instantly, Phil’s cock still inside of him. It’s dizzying, this feeling. Everything with Phil is so fucking dizzying and magical and unbelievable.

Phil rocks himself back and forth inside of Dan for a final time, reaching that dizzying crescendo of euphoria that Dan has just experienced himself. He spills out inside of him.

Magic.

Dan could get hard again just from hearing Phil moan his name again.

iv.

Dan thinks they’re in love. In fact, he knows they are. He thinks Phil knows that, too. To an outsider it would seem like the most backwards beginning of a relationship: meet in 2009, teach each other how to love, call it off completely and then suddenly it’s been ten years and they have sex almost every week and ignore the feelings until it’s pointless.

The wine helps in so many ways, and Dan figures if they hadn’t been drinking as much as they have tonight he wouldn’t consider starting any conversation about ‘them’ but fuck it, it’s three in the morning, they’re in love, they’re pretending this is nothing and he won’t do it anymore.

The night is for conversations you can’t have in the morning, after all.

“Phil,” Dan says.

They’re under the covers, hands loosely clasped.

“Do you love me?”

There’s a pause. An intake of breath.

“How do you want me to answer that?” Phil asks.

“I honestly don’t have a fucking clue,” Dan admits.

“Then why ask?”

Because he’s tired. Because he loves him. Because they’re both getting too old for this. Because he wants a relationship. Because he loves him.

“I don’t know,”

“Do you love me?” Phil asks.

There’s no pause this time.

“Yeah, I do,”

Phil untangles their hands and sits up. Dan watches him run a hand through his mussed hair and exhale slowly.

“What do you want? A relationship?” Phil asks somewhat tersely.

Dan winces. “No need to sound so disgusted by the thought. We were in one once, you know,”

“Yeah, and look where that landed us, Dan,”

The room is dark, Dan can only see Phil’s silhouette; all smooth curves and softness.

“That was then, this is now,”

“And what’s changed?’ Phil asks, facing Dan now.

“I love you,”

“What if that doesn’t end up being enough, Dan?” Phil sighs loudly. “Fuck sake, I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. It's been such a nice evening, why are you bringing this up now?”

“Because I can’t do this anymore, Phil,” Dan says, sitting up now. “I can’t just live with you as if we don’t secretly fuck in the dark when we’re lonely.”

“Then what the fuck do you want, Dan?” Phil asks, voice raised.

“YOU, Phil, YOU, is that okay?” Dan spits back. “Sorry if that’s the worst fucking idea ever, but I am in love with you and it is breaking my heart to think you don’t feel the same way. Friends with benefits only works for a while, not forever,”

Phil gets out of the bed, standing up and crossing the room. He stands at the window, hands gripped on the ledge and eyes staring out at the cityscape before them. Nighttime is inviting until cracks of daylight appear.

“And what if I can’t promise you forever? What if I can’t give you that?” Phil asks quietly now, voice low and unsure.

Dan gets up and goes to Phil, he puts a hand on Phil’s waist and pushes their still naked bodies together, the warmth is delightful and the tension is unreal.

“I don’t need a promise. I just need to know how you feel,” Dan murmurs, lips pressing to Phil’s shoulder blade in a chaste kiss.

“I feel so much, Dan,” Phil whispers. “That’s the problem, I can’t let myself do this again. I can’t be us and then break-up, we won’t survive, I won’t cope, I don’t…” he pauses, releasing a shaky breath. “I don’t want you to be a stranger one day,”

“I love you,” Dan whispers in Phil’s ear. “I will never be a stranger,”

“God, Dan you don’t know what you do to me,” Phil leans into Dan’s body, Dan’s cock against his ass, Dan’s lips at his neck and Dan’s heart eclipsing his own.

“Show me, show me what I do to you,”

Phil turns quickly, grabbing Dan at the waist and pulling him in hard. They kiss, lips urgent and scorching and the desire to be closer than close allows is palpable. Dan’s hands are in his hair, their bare skin slaps together and the ecstasy of love blinds Phil.

“You’re right,” Phil gasps as they pull apart, foreheads together. His cock is aching, twitching for a round two, but his heart tells him to be pragmatic, to be honest and to tell Dan how he feels.

“What am I right about?” Dan asks quietly, barely a whisper. He peers up at Phil through a fringe of thick lashes that glisten in the light of the moon which pools over them.

“I love you,” he says, and it doesn’t feel scary.

Dan grins and it eats his face. “I love you too,”

“Are we mad?” he asks.

“Yeah, probably,” Dan replies honestly, “But do you care?”

Phil loves Dan. Phil loves everything about him. This is Dan, for crying out loud. Dan is the person he can confide in, be himself around, not give a fuck about anything else around as long as they’re together. His first, real love. Dan.

“No,” Phil says and captures Dan’s lips with his own again. They fit. They make sense. Dan is comfort, Dan is mystery, Dan is his best friend. Dan is the man he loves. “I don’t care at all. Let’s be fucking mad and let’s own the shit out of it. I want to have sex with you, I want to hold hands with you, I want to be a boyfriend to you and fuck you and love you forever."

God, Dan loves Phil’s dirty mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> two fics in two days. goodness me. hope you liked, something a little different from me today. Feel free to give kudos if you enjoyed it! Thank you. Lily.


End file.
